The undeniable wisdom of Donna

I asked rhetorically, "how come the women seem to get this so easily" (referring to finding the center in the front)
Donna: "probably because we are used to setting boundaries for men"

aikido and dancing

I have to say how cool it is being a salsa dance teacher, and now an aikido teacher as well. The two things have so much in common in terms of how the participants carry themselves, and only differ in purpose. I use many of the same exercises in both activities in order to train myself, my partner, or whoever is involved how to carry themselves in balance. Examples are a simple as learning to take small steps, keeping your feet below you, holding up the weight of your own hands, and just becoming aware of tension in your own body. I find it fascinating how much easier it is for someone who is learning to dance to learn these things. My guess is that martial arts infuse much more fear into the participants, while dancing is for fun. Imagine that you are in some kind of combat situation and you have to fend for your life, bombs going off, ninjas everywhere, it's not that relaxing, and not condusive to the relaxed inner state that is needed in order to move in balance. Dancing on the other hand is the opposite. If you stick with dancing, that bug up your butt will have to die some day. Through the months of dance training, those layers of guardedness shed themselves. I have also seen people storm out of dancing forever once they realized that there was no place for their darkness amongst the light of those others that know the spirit of dance. I like this comparison because my training with Henry and the crew has produced an evolution in martial arts training that has left behind the Rambo fantacies and created a practice infused with the spirit of a dancer. We now know that the Holy Grail of martial arts is inner and outer balance, and not just another egocentric martial arts myth.

There is no diaper big enough

The question-
Why does aikido seem to attract certain kinds of personalities? In order to elaborate on what I am asking, I intend to point out something my mother noticed about aikidoists when I first started training back in 1997. She asked me "why does aikido attract so many passive aggressive personalities?" Ever since then, I started to notice that the people at the dojo believe that the only way to use aikido in their personal conflicts is to ignore bad behavior, and then let their unhappiness about the subject "ooze" out somewhere else. I put "ooze" in quotations because my dear friends Donna and Andrew Miller use that phrase any time I start bitching about unresolved matters.
Back to the point, people seem to think that aikido is just a tricky way of ignoring problems. They call it Tenkan. Tenkan is an aikido technique that involves letting your partner's energy pass by as you turn to get out of the way. But, just as in the physical technique, if you just let things go by, but lose your posture (analogus to behaving without integrity, dignity, and honesty) in the process, you didn't do it very well. Being centered (another aikido term used ad-nausium) means being able to say "no", and say what needs to be said at the right time, without making it a personal attack. I only wish that such things could be taught to people. I am slowly trying to decrease the size of my own diaper

How many years do you want to be a novice?

In my lifetime I have had the pleasure of learning from a variety of different master teachers of their specific mastered craft. For the last couple of years I have been learning to trade stocks from a master stock trader named Oliver Velez. One day, I receive from him an email with a list of one liner jokes that he made about novice traders. The point of this was to bring to the light many of the habits that many of us "baby traders" have fallen into. I found many of his analogies amusing, but I found that I was guilty of practically all of them. So, I will make similar analogies based on my aikido experience- but keep in mind- I've been guilty of all of it.

point 1:
Novices always say that in 10 years they will understand the technique- and are still saying that 10 years later.
point 2:
Novices love higherarchy, tests, and black belts. It's like the fuzzy "hands off" version of joining the army. Sorry, no money for college :(
Point 3:
Novices love the martial arts fantasy. They imagine themselves fighting Mr T in Rocky 5, and then get really annoyed when a weaker person points out an opening in their technique.
Point 4:
Novices base the effectiveness of their technique on the shape they can bend their partner into, even if they have to make a human pretzel out of themselves to do it.
Point 5:
Novice heavy people think that their technique works because often times they are bigger than their partner. Novice not-so-heavy people have trouble with their technique because they are emulating the movements made by the fat guy teaching the class, and think that it will have the same effect on their bigger partner.
Point 6:
Novices like to write a lot about aikido
Point 7:
I never want to dance with novice martial artists.
Point 8:
No mantras.
Point 9:
There is no end to the internal mental dialogue of a novice martial artist. There is no discussion you can have with yourself that will save your life.
Point 10:
A novice martial artist always thinks he or she can take a hit and keep performing their technique.

Teaching Class

When people ask me if I like teaching class they are usually surprised when I say..."no". I started teaching Aikido in 2002 because I wanted a place to study uke. The dojo I had been training at was not focusing on this, so the alternative was to create a place where I could study what I wanted to learn.

So, now the problem becomes how to teach and train at the same time. I know I've subconsciously tried to do this for years before finally realizing that the more I tried to "help" my partner, the more I was distracting myself from learning ukemi. Every time I noticed something "wrong" with my partner, it was "I" who was not in the moment and it was "my" ukemi that was off balance (yes, a good reminder of projection). But now I'm being paid to notice and correct movements in other students and at the same time I'm trying to learn this. It's like taking a shower and trying to stay dry. It just doesn't mix.

Meeting Henry

After 6 years of training at dojos around the country, I found myself questioning the “Art of Peace”. The way I experienced Aikido classes usually involved pain and fear in the name of blending and harmony. The more I read the Founder’s words, the more confused I became about the practice I was doing. When I discussed my experience with teachers, I was often told that I needed to improve my “ukemi”, and that would allow me to be thrown safely. Though it seemed odd that it was my problem someone else was twisting my arm into my shoulder, I looked for someone who looked like they knew ukemi at every dojo I visited and asked them to show me what they were doing. Though most people had an answer, it was usually vague and disconnected form all the other tips I had gotten. Many just insisted that I keep practicing. Unsatisfied with the answers I had received and suffering from tendonitis in my wrists, I quit.

Two years later, I received a long distance phone call from a good friend who was an Aikido student in Toronto. He said, “you need to see this guy”. Now, I had seen many Aikido “guys” and “gals”, but was still happy to see another. When I met Henry, it was in the restroom where we were changing for class. I didn't realize he was the teacher at the time since I never met a teacher who changed with everyone else. I was quit impressed with his take on the principles of Aikido and what actually happened on the mat. When we walked out into the dojo everyone bowed to him and then I said “you’re the teacher?”

During the class, he threw me in a way which was completely different from everyone else. Now, at that point, I had been thrown by a lot of people. Each time I was thrown I knew that they had taken my balance and threw me to the ground. Some were much more efficient at this than others. With Henry, I felt this hole open up into which I moved into….not fell, but sort of “ended up”. It felt amazing and energizing and I had a huge smile on my face. Even better, after class I asked him about “ukemi” and he explained very specifically what he wanted me to do. It was exactly what I was looking for and it brought me back into the Art. This was in 1996 and he mentioned that he was traveling to Ireland to teach classes and so I said that I'm going to Ireland too.